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C.I.A.P. Funding: see "What's New" below
**F.O.R. San Bernard's Community Center
"OPEN HOUSE"
Friday
November 9th, 3 p.m.-7 p.m.
** Breakfast on the Bernard @ Dido's Saturday,
November 3rd 8a.m.-10a.m.
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JANE
WALLACE
F.O.R.
SAN BERNARD MEMBER
ORIGINAL O.C. MEMBER
OUR RIVER IS
HAUNTED!
 October
27 on a night with a
near-full moon, and eerily
close to All Hallows Eve, a
boat, cast in a spooky blue
tint could be seen for miles
up and down our little
river! Or, I should say, it
could be seen by those
gifted with a "sixth sense"
(those who see and
communicate with dead
people)! Upon close
examination, the boat
appeared to be belched from
the depths of the San
Bernard River. Perhaps a
lost fishing boat with its
passengers still on board?
Perhaps an innocent group of
friends taking a simple boat
ride one evening that turned
into disaster by foul hands?
Who knows? Who really
knows? There were slimy
spider webs from stem to
stern, a tomb stone that
mocked who we assume are the
dead and gone, and a
skeleton of someone who
didn't quite make it back
into human form - if I may
take such a leap of rhetoric
in calling those horrible
beings on the boat as
"human." Those specially
"gifted" sixth-sensed people
heard blood-curdling
screams, sinister laughter,
and bone chilling cries for
help coming from that boat.
However, what those poor
gifted people will be
haunted with the rest of
their lives is what they saw
riding in and around the
boat. I’ll do my best to
describe what I witnessed
from my dock that night; I
dear reader, am one of those
unfortunate sixth-sensed
victims.
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The haunted vessel
floated a bit above the
river with an
unexplainable distance
between the boat and the
river, so of course it
did not split the river
with its bow nor leave a
wake in its path.
Onboard the musty boat
was five poltergeists,
which I will describe in
further detail later.
Above the boat, hovering
and floating and dipping
playfully in and out of
the water, and again,
leaving not a ripple in
the flat surface of the
San Bernard, were four
small specters. They
were almost like, if I
may put it in earthy
terms for a clearer
understanding, children
playing on playground
equipment at a park.
When the screams and
cries from within the
boat stopped, I could
actually hear the small
specters’ child-like
giggling and laughing as
they swooped and dipped.
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I promised a description
of the poltergeists on
board the ghost-boat. I
am leaving this for
last, because dear
reader, I dread
recalling them to
memory, remembering
their ghastly faces,
remembering their
antics. But, alas,
because you are not
gifted with this
terrible sixth-sense, I
must tell you what I’ve
seen so that you
understand what exists
on and below the waters
of our lovely little
watercourse. The first
spirit I focused on was
the captain of the
ghost-boat. He was a
large hulk of a
man-ghost who had long
white hair hanging under
his two enormous horns.
His face was very dark
and hard to discern. I
just know he was not a
small man and was
extremely frightening as
he guided the vessel to
and fro. However, if I
am not mistaken, when I
focused on the captain
intently, I noticed a
familiar scent, one in
which amusingly enough
reminded me of gumbo. My
only rationale is that
the scent must have been
from the smell of fish
from the depths from
which the boat had
risen, I do not know. As
I have said, I was only
an innocent captive to
the site.
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The most painful ghost
was a screaming banshee
who may have been small
in stature, but not in
voice. She was one who
let out the most
ghoulish of shouts and
screams that made my
ears ache and feel as if
my ear drums were going
to burst. Why, even once
I felt to see if blood
was coming out of my
ears due to her loud
larking about. Then, I
noticed that on occasion
she’d float up to the
stern and she’d march
with a baton and a
megaphone. This poor,
poor lost soul must have
died a frustrated
cheerleader or twirler.
She must not have lived
out her life as a star
performing
twirler/cheerleader when
whatever happened ended
it so abruptly.
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The other ghoul on the
boat was most
mysterious. She sat
totally still and silent
with a frozen expression
on her face. She glowed
white, with dark eyes,
and had silver chains
for hair. She sat on the
bow of the boat and
peered out to the shore
as if she were hunting
for a something. Perhaps
she searched for her
companion, a lost soul,
a new husband?
Another phantom was a
woman in white. She was
definitely a specter,
because she floated from
one end of the vessel to
the other, it appeared
she was attached to the
captain of the boat in
some way. She seemed to
be waiting on him hand
and foot, and then on
occasion I noticed she’d
whack him upside the
head for good measure.
What was that all about?
The last ghoul on this
eerie site was a very
dark man. He wore a
fishing cap and t-shirt.
Although the evening was
very cold, and I sat on
my dock wrapped and
bundled tightly, this
man, who had a green
mustache and hair, was
comfortable in a
t-shirt. The one thing
that I noticed about his
peculiar specter was
that he did the same
exact thing over and
over and over and over
and over. He stood near
the stern, behind the
captain, and he would
hold up something to his
mouth that looked like a
silver can, but I cannot
be sure of what the
writing on the can said,
except that I do know I
saw an "M" on one of the
cans. He drained what
was in the can, which
was disgusting to watch,
because I could actually
see the yellow liquid go
into his gullet and
bubble down and bubble
up into a dreadfully
loud belch that echoed
from one end of the
river to the other and
spewed yellow droplets
out of his mouth. Then,
the ghoul would bend
down into a box and pick
up another can with the
"M" on it and do it over
and over and over and
over again.
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The boat paused in front
of my dock long enough
for me to see who was
aboard, and then it
floated up river. I
called some of my
neighbors to warn them
about the ghost-boat; my
neighbors wisely left
offerings for the boat.
Eileen and Buddy Kenneda
left rum on their dock
and found the empty
bottle with a note
rolled up in it saying,
"You are smart. . .and
lucky." Larry and Erma
Vacek left some "hot
mamas," and Erma
reported that later the
plastic container was
gone and there was a
bloody note on their
peer that said, "You did
the right thing!" Holman
& Emily & Wil left a
mixed drink and beer on
his peer and he said it
was all gone, including
the ice chest and he had
a similar note, but the
note didn’t appear to be
written in blood – it
was written in something
he couldn’t discern but
said it smelled foul and
was green in color.
Teresa and Neal are
extremely superstitious
(you can tell if you
really look closely at
Neal’s tattoos and
Teresa’s if she’ll show
you hers), so they left
purple hull peas,
cornbread, hot-poppers,
and stuffed bell
peppers! Teresa reported
that it must have worked
because they found a
wet, mildewed 1st place
ribbon on their dock
that said, "We’ll be
back next year – you
better do the same!" I
did hear from other
neighors who were not as
fortunate as the above.
They were "tricked" by
the ghastly crew and
found some horrible,
horrible things in their
yards. I simply can’t go
any further with these
descriptions. You’ll
have to talk to your
friends to find out the
rest. I’m exhausted and
must rest.
For me – please, be
careful out there,
especially on the 31st.
Who knows what’ll happen
on that evening!
Your sixth-sensed
friend,
Jane Wallace
HAPPY HALLOWEEN !!!
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One of F.O.R.'s
primary functions is to educate the public
regarding the issues concerning the San Bernard
River and it's Communities. Contact Pat Webb
pat@sanbernardriver.com to schedule a
guest speaker for your group or special event.
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FOR San Bernard
Post Office Box 93
Brazoria, TX 77422 |
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